It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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