i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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