Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
