Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
