The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
