i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
