It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
