you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
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I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
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just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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