Umm I'm too high to move.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
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yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
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I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Send help, water and tortillas.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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