i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
