Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
