I'm going to jail i love you
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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