pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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