the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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