now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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