the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
