Having a random hookup so left but love u
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
