I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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