i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
