i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
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Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
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think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.