If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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