Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.