I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
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i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
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im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.