Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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