upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So vagazzling was a success
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
