So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
accomplished twins. life is a go
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
