the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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