Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize