the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
