I'm so fucking centered right now
id be glad to
I puked a lego.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
