just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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