There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
