I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
