his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
