hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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