I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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