I just pynch a tree in the face
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
