Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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