It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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