You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a fireplace last night.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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