My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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