Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
