so let's talk penis.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
