So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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