oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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