When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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