i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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