dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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