i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
