I need help removing her.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
