he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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