Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize