no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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