i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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