What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
