I wish I could teleport
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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