we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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