Who wears a wallet chain?!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
