I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Pants are for mortals
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