I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
