I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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