I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize