just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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