No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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