dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
