I hate all girls vehemently.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
