This is not my ceiling
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
