I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
