That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
