My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my being single is dangerous.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
